Truth About This Coven
My life turned. I went downhill and very fast. I had a strong need to find something to stop my life from spiralling more downward. I did a bit of research on the occult and started practicing “magick” on my own. I did many spells, all kinds and most of them worked. The only spells that did not work were the death spells I placed on my step-father. No, he was well and healthy and ever alive. I needed help. I needed more power, more strength, more something to get these spells to work. I researched as much as I possibly could and ended up finding the site of the coven I joined. I contacted them and spoke to the high priestess of the mother coven. This was it! Now I was going to show the world just how much I hated it.
I arrived for the first time at one of the festivals. The high priest of the coven said that he could feel my fear when I was driving into the driveway. The festival started with normal socializing. Then we went into ritual where magic was done and I felt something there. Something that was more powerful than the magic I did on my own. Well, that was me, it was the beginning of my road to hell. As the festival ended and it was time for feast (eating and drinking and socializing), the high priest asked me why I am shielding (a process of defence, putting a shield around yourself for protection). I was not aware that I was doing this. He informed me that he did not know if I could be trusted because of the heavy shielding. But, as the time went by and I attended festivals and was invited to attend open coven rituals I was informed that I started to drop my shields. I eventually got accepted into the coven. I had to attend coven for one year and one day before being initiated into my first degree.
At my first degree initiation night I was poisoned. How, why, where? I have no idea. I could hardly walk, stand, breath or anything, but I persisted in the ritual. The sweat ran down me in buckets. There I was, totally naked, being bound with cords around my ankles, knees and wrists. Even through the poisoning, a spiritual initiation took place between myself and satan. Something inside of me was kind of enlightened. Something happened which at the time I could not explain. Halfway through the pathworking (kind of a hypnosis session where you meet the goddess), symbols were given to me from the goddess (which actually is a disguised demon). I had to leave the circle (ritual) as I had to get sick. I then returned. I was delirious and cannot even remember the oaths I took. A measure was placed around my body. The measure is cords which measure your body and is wrapped around a piece of cardboard, sealed with wax and signed with your should you cause any harm to the coven.
After the ritual, I was rushed to hospital by two of the other coven members and was immediately put on a drip. The doctor told me that I was just about to convulse due to dehydration. I stayed in hospital for a few hours on drips and then was eventually brought back to the coven. Everyone was feasting. Feast is a term for eating after ritual. The energy in the coven used to get so high that we believed that eating would ground us again. Eating specifically because it is the most physical earthly thing one can do and it is our most basic need for survival. I was now an initiated witch.
I was stripped of my identity and a new identity was built up. All I ever did was to please the high priestess. Of course I did things for the gods as well, I became infatuated with the elders. Their knowledge was extensive and I longed to have the knowledge and power that they had.
I became bisexual and had a seriously intense relationship with a woman. This relationship ended up in a lot of tears because deep inside of me, I was not that way inclined. I then ended up having a serious love affair with a married man in our coven which lasted a long time. I was in my early 20’s at the time and he was 54. I performed many lust and love spells on him to keep him and later found out that he did the same. I hated his wife and she hated the coven, but nonetheless, we continued. He and I performed many rituals on our own and many of our spells came into fruitition. I ended up living in an upper class town and the money poured in. My group of friends increased tremendously and everything just went perfect. But there was a price to pay. I (in reality, or should I say in the spirit) sold my soul to satan.
Our minds were brainwashed by many pathworkings (hypnosis) in meeting “the goddess”, etc. She would direct our paths and rule our lives. During spell workings, I created a “servitor” or in reality, summoned a demon who would be my guide and my servant. I named him Blue. I was infatuated with the colour blue. He was tall, huge and gigantic. His coat was blue, his eyes were blue. He carried a huge staff with a blue crystal on the top. He was very powerful. He often spoke to me, guided me, told me things about people. He became my best friend. I started seeing auras around people and this guided me as to where they were. When I was a child, I saw etherics around people. These in pagan terms are the thin / thick energy field around a person which determines things about them (it could be called the spiritman). I enjoyed watching them as sometimes they would forget to follow the person and quickly realize that their body has moved and then it was quickly “gel” with the body again. I socialized a lot after coven rituals in drinking, taking drugs and drumming. During the festivals and rituals, I was chosen to enact Persephone. She is the goddess who descends into the underworld and marries the horned god. I did not realize at the time what I was doing, but I felt like her and loved it. There was nothing more fulfilling for me to enact her. It felt asthough she and I became one.
I had power now and my spells were working well. Everything was going according to plan. In the coven we had to study a lot. Most of our time was consumed by classes and only one third of our time was consumed by the ritual itself. We had to read 12 occultic books per year and had to write book reviews for each one of them. We also wrote exams from our classes which were written every year. The high priestess took the classes and taught us many things which included Paganism 101, Female and Male Mysteries, Wicca 101, Chakras, Reikie, Runes, Tarrot, curses and vexes, etc.
Meetings would be held on Saturdays starting at approximately 14h00 and end in the early hours of the next morning with partying, sex, drugs and alcohol. This was the highlight of the whole week. The aftermath. Sex was free, drugs were free and alcohol was supplied by whoever. If one should fall pregnant during these parties, it would be claimed that the child was a gift from the goddess. During this time, I had three abortions and three miscarriages. I did not care much as I was married and if my husband at the time had found out, I would have lost him. I did not love him, but depended on him for finances, etc.
Wicca became boring and the married man I was involved with and I decided to go searching for something bigger. We wanted more power, more involvement, more danger, more drugs, more excitement and more gruesomeness. My "partner" at the time (the married man) took me to a meeting where many strange and weird people were. This, I liked. This was more for me. Topics that were discussed at this meeting were polygamy and the benefits thereof and of course gnosis. I realized at this meeting that this is where I wanted to be. I wanted to be with these people and be involved in the “higher magick”. After attending a few meetings, we were invited to the “leaders” house.
We were taken to the ritual room which was outside and shown what it is all about. There, on the altar was a skull of a goat, a chalice which contained blood and various other items. We were told to sit down in a circle and meditate. We meditated for what seemed to be about 15 minutes. The a loud bang was made that made us literally jump. It was explained fear raises much energy. I liked that. It was then explained to us how different this is from Wicca. The first ritual we would have to attend was called “The Eight Gates”. This was the eight gates to hell. This ritual would be performed at the next meeting at his house.
We were then taken to the front of his house where we were entertained with drinks. He brought out various books of serious satanic pictures and body mutilations. This did not bother me, but made me feel more drawn toward it. He then brought out a stack of cards, much like tarot cards. He told us to take a card and we did. With these cards, he was able to tell us exactly where we were in our minds and he was correct. I asked him to see the cards and he gave then to me. These cards were not like tarot cards, but had pictures of sexual perverted images on them. I was mystified by looking at them. One would have to look very closely at the images to make it out. I liked those cards. He then showed us a card of his membership with the OTO. Oh boy, did this make me even happier.
That night, I could not stop thinking about it. I wanted this in my life. I wanted to be this. I could not wait for the next meeting.
